i'm a dirty, dirty girl

last october i started researching a new way to eat called "clean eating." the gist of it is basically only eating foods that are from the ground, from a tree, or from a vine. i would only buy my meat from a butcher that sells meat from grain-fed, hormone-free cows. (if you aren't drinking organic milk, you are drinking cancer. true story.) this is a lifestyle change and it definitely ups the ante on my current organic-only produce and dairy rule. they say a great way to start making the positive changes slowly is to not ingest anything containing an ingredient you cannot pronounce fluently. changes like this are actually easy in my house - if i told tj toilet water warded of cancer he would make our coffee with it. so that was it: we were going "clean."

then the dumbasses at meijers put oatmeal cream pies on sale for 3 boxes at $5.

i've had 3 oatmeal cream pies today and it's not even 2:00. i started feeling really guilty after the third one and decided to check out the dreaded ingredient list of what my new favorite addiction is made of. the following is a list of things i have ingested not once, not twice, but three times today:

Corn Syrup, Flour Enriched Bleached, Barley Malt, Niacin, Iron Reduced, Wheat Flour, Folic Acid (Vitamin aB), Oat(s), Cottonseed Oil Partially Hydrogenated, Soybean(s) Oil Partially Hydrogenated, Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Sugar, Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Vegetable(s) Shortening, Ammonium Bicarbonate, Baking Soda, Dextrose, Emulsifier(s), Contains 22% or less Leavening, Milk, Molasses, Polysorbate 60, Raisin(s), Salt, Sorbitan Monostearate, Soy Lecithin, Water, Whey, Mono and Diglycerides, Corn Starch, Caramel Color, Carrageenan, Cocoa, Coconut, Color(s), Egg(s), Egg(s) Whites, Apple(s) Evaporated, Milk Non-Fat Dry, Red 40, Sorbic Acid Freshness Preserved By Spice(s), Yellow 5, Flavor(s) Natural & Artificial, Sulfite Treated

what the hell is thiamine mononitrate? i don't know either - but lucky for me i can pronounce it fluently.