tj got me tickets to a bulls game for my birthday - hopefully he won't be too surprised when i give him a divorce for christmas. i'm not sure what i would expect... here's just a few other gems from the past 13 years:
christmas 1999: a gym membership. according to him it wasn't because i had gained weight. according to the membership card i was 5'6 and weighed 120 lbs. either he was an idiot or he filled it out when i was in 4th grade.
birthday 2002: a scarecrow on a piece of plywood with a basket of mums attached to it. this would've been a great gift if i was 62, didn't live with my parents, and enjoyed shopping at craft fairs.
valentines day 2003: fresh off the scarecrow he redeemed himself with a pair of size S hooters sweat pant capris. i'm not kidding.
christmas 2007: cooking pans. he obviously didn't find out from my dad what happens to a man that buys his wife kitchen shit for a major holiday.
mother's day 2011:
(that last one was left blank because that's what i got... nothing. but, he made up for it this mother's day by going golfing all damn day.)
well, i gotta go now and eat the breakfast he made me... egg and sausage omelettes.
I hear ya mama.
ReplyDeleteMy first bday after having my LO, DH gave me two automatic cat litter boxes. W. T. F.
Larissa.. Please post more often.. I LOVE READING YOUR POSTS!! I crack up everytime! My husband thinks I am a nut job as I sit at the computer laughing out loud.. literally!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and this post had me laughing. You poor thing.
ReplyDeleteI trained my DH well. He knows that all he has to get me is something Star Wars-y and we're golden. Yoda backpack for my birthday? Check. R2-D2 trash can with lifting dome for Christmas? Check. You just need to train him better.