blue balls

just to recap my health, briefly:

miscarriage 2009

baby #1 2010

hospital stay for post-partum hemorrhaging 2010

miscarriage - D&C for 4 month fetus 2011

emergency removal of gallbladder 2011

emergency removal of appendix 2011

tooth extraction 2012

c-section baby #2 2012

now to recap, briefly, t.j.'s:

sore elbow from too much damn golf 2011

man cold 2012

for those keeping score: i'm down 2 organs, an incisor, vaginal elasticity, and a set of perky tits. t.j.'s down a night of men's golf league.

i feel like my body needs recovery time. i have designated 2013 as the year that larissa stays out of the hospital. i'm not going to need any one's assistance to go pee and i'm not going to have to fart in front of a nurse to gain permission to go home. i am swearing off anything requiring anesthesia; to which t.j. suggested i go on the pill. to which i suggested he go to hell. i'm 32 damn years old, i'm not going on the pill - unless it's a valium washed down with pinot noir.

so, i have given my husband a deadline for a vasectomy: march 1st... or as i like to call it: v-day. v-day was announced when london was approximately 32 seconds old. i told him there was no excuse - especially after i found out about "vas madness," in which urology practices offer special rates during college basketball's final four tourneys. t.j. usually spends march madness sitting in front of the t.v., not getting laid, and crying, so this is perfect.

he has many ways of deflecting talk of v-day including: getting mad, getting quiet, getting nauseous, and his latest... getting baby fever. yep - you heard me. t.j. has decided that the easiest way to avoid v-day is by planning another birthday. he was very convincing in his stance; so much so that i conceded. i agreed to let him out of v-day in hopes for getting the little boy he has always dreamed of.

when i find out who he's having it with, i'll provide an update.