when i agreed to marry tj he was "husky" and ate 4 mixing bowls of cereal in the morning. i was naturally anorexic. immediately following our wedding my metabolism came to a halt (probably stunted by all the boxed wine and fried zucchini) and tj decided to become bruce jenner. (the decathlete bruce jenner, not the i-look-like-a-burn-victim bruce kardashian.) t.j. became part of some running club where regular marathons weren't good enough so they ran 32 mile "ultra-marathons." in honor of this, i switched to "ultra-light" marlboros. every time t.j. came home with another blue ribbon i'd drink a pabst.
now with the girls here, t.j. doesn't have time to run 3 hours a day, so he gets up at 4:45 every single morning of his life and does the insanity workout. if you don't know what the insanity program is, let's just say it very aptly named; it is most definitely insane to wake up every day to a black man screaming at and abusing you. i'll tell you two people it didn't work for: me and tina turner.
so i've decided on turbo jam and boxing. if you have ever witnessed turbo jam, you'll understand my wanting to take boxing. when i look this stupid in the basement, t.j. will laugh at me. when t.j. laughs at me, i will want to be able to kick his ass. since most of you can't laugh at me doing turbo jam, let's laugh at this poor lady turbo jammin' it up in beast mode:
