express yourself

yesterday after easter dinner it was time to play some yahtzee. at the game table was aunt bev, uncle tony, and my brother josh. as i plopped down in my chair i asked, "does anyone mind if i express my teats?" i was referring to the fact that it was that time... time to pump. now, if you aren't a breastfeeding mom then the term, 'pump' might be foreign to you. every 4 hours of my life i shove my boobs in a breast pump so that rozzy can eat. i pump at home, in the car, inside, outside, and during yahtzee. a lot of people don't understand that this pumping business has become my life for the past 5 months. it sucks (pun intended.) today i was in a cemetery waiting for a funeral procession and there i am whipping out the girls trying to get 9 ounces before the hearse arrived. of course, when the funeral procession finally did arrive they didn't pull up behind us - they pulled up next to us. here i am hooked up like a dairy cow with my nipple being drug through a clear tube 100 times a minute and t.j.'s great uncle is directly outside of my window. somehow i have to get my boob out of a tube and back where it belongs, all while sitting in broad daylight at a grave site with every in-law known to man 2 feet away from me. right before they got there i was wondering if i was the only woman on the face of earth to pump at a cemetery... and right now there is a great uncle out there wondering if he is the only man on the face of earth to see some nip at a funeral.