chesticles part deux

remember that paula cole hit, "where have all the cowboys gone?" well, replace the word 'cowboys' with 'boobies' and you have the soundtrack to my life right now. as you may remember from the last chesticles blog, i was weaning from breastfeeding and letting the girls deflate. deflate is an understatement. i cannot believe it. i am one of those girls who ends up with less up top after childbirth than what they started with. it's unbelievable too considering the lineage of huge boobs i descend from. if my mom's side of the family were cars, giant boobs would be included in the base price. as a matter of fact, my aunt had a reduction. a reduction. do you know what that means? she called and set up an appointment at a doctor's office and when they asked her what her "problem" was she answered that she had too much boobs. (i understand that sounds grammatically incorrect, but saying too many boobs would imply that she had more than two which, fortunately, was not her problem.) i cannot guarantee a lot in this life, but i know for damn sure one thing you will never see is me sitting in the waiting room at a medical facility waiting for them to remove some boob. never. i may have a mole or two removed but never a boob or two. although now i do fear that my boobs could be mistaken for moles so maybe it is possible. what i want to know is what they did with my aunts "problems?" they should have something set up like the cord blood bank system. that way if you have a family member in dire need of boobs like me, than you can have some extra genetically-similar boob laying in a safe of some sort. the only person that i really care who thinks of my girls is my husband. i have flashed t.j. approximately 73 times in the past 48 hours asking him if he can believe what he is seeing - or not seeing. "a titty is a titty" are the actual words that came out of my husband's mouth. yes. he said that. all i have to say is thank god for t.j... unlike my pre-pregnancy bras, he is very supportive of my situation.