Saturday, November 3, 2012

i HATE sausage

tj got me tickets to a bulls game for my birthday - hopefully he won't be too surprised when i give him a divorce for christmas. i'm not sure what i would expect... here's just a few other gems from the past 13 years:

christmas 1999: a gym membership. according to him it wasn't because i had gained weight. according to the membership card i was 5'6 and weighed 120 lbs. either he was an idiot or he filled it out when i was in 4th grade.

birthday 2002: a scarecrow on a piece of plywood with a basket of mums attached to it. this would've been a great gift if i was 62, didn't live with my parents, and enjoyed shopping at craft fairs.

valentines day 2003: fresh off the scarecrow he redeemed himself with a pair of size S hooters sweat pant capris. i'm not kidding.

christmas 2007: cooking pans. he obviously didn't find out from my dad what happens to a man that buys his wife kitchen shit for a major holiday.

mother's day 2011:

(that last one was left blank because that's what i got... nothing. but, he made up for it this mother's day by going golfing all damn day.)

well, i gotta go now and eat the breakfast he made me... egg and sausage omelettes.



3 comments:

  1. I hear ya mama.
    My first bday after having my LO, DH gave me two automatic cat litter boxes. W. T. F.

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  2. Larissa.. Please post more often.. I LOVE READING YOUR POSTS!! I crack up everytime! My husband thinks I am a nut job as I sit at the computer laughing out loud.. literally!

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  3. I just found your blog and this post had me laughing. You poor thing.

    I trained my DH well. He knows that all he has to get me is something Star Wars-y and we're golden. Yoda backpack for my birthday? Check. R2-D2 trash can with lifting dome for Christmas? Check. You just need to train him better.

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